don't bend! ascend!
(originally written 8/30, a month ago)
hello!
Today is the day that I move into university. I am, expectedly, so incredibly nervous. But I am so glad that I am able to be here.
Jo
(written on 9/30)
hello!
It's been a month since I've settled into university here, and a lot's changed. I've had high highs that have been diametrically opposed by the largest volume of anxiety that I've had in a while.
Let's start with the good. Over just the month, I've been able to meet so, so many new people. Maybe it's from the sudden surge of free time that I have (or at least, seem to) (for now), and combined with how it is a much, much larger cultural mosaic than anywhere else that I've been to, or something completely different. But I really have never felt anything like this, before. The people living on my floor are so interesting, let alone the people in my classes, clubs, or those that I meet in the waiting lines.
But also, there's an equally, similarly present feeling of anxiety. I'm really worried about my future. I'm (so, so very thankfully) studying that something that I enjoy, but like many others I fear for what or even if I will have something for me in the future. I sometimes feel thing overbearing guilt, or a feeling of already losing pace with others for where I am. Obviously, I know and have heard almost everything there is to hear about comparison and self-contentment, but you do have to agree that some things just do stick, no matter what.
I've slacked writing, so if you're reading this, seriously email to keep me accountable. There's still so much that I've neglected to put into words just yet, but soon.
For music, I've relistened to all of gy!be's stuff again, hence the name of this post.
See you soon!
jo